reminded of Here I Stand, the only board game that simulates the Protestant Reformation from 1517 to 1555 in enough detail to require a Henry's Wives' Pregnancy Chart and Excommunication Cubes

The win condition for England is for Henry VIII to have an ahistorically healthy son who will take the throne instead of Mary

everyone at board game night is mad at me because I keep forgetting if my guy is supposed to think catholicism is good or bad

"You're playing John Calvin!"
"Yeah, and he fucking sucks, that doesn't narrow anything down."

The fucking pope faction keeps sending all their Papal Debaters at me while the Hapsburgs have the printing press basically uncontested. This always happens.

the other players get mad at me because they catch me googling "protestantism" on my phone again

every time the papists get a new guy, i cross-reference with the list of sexually active popes to determine if they fuck

@kat I do think it'd honestly be fun to roleplay being Martin Luther or whatever and a laugh about how I'm getting a Book Of Common Prayer combo or talking about wife die roll modifiers

@BestGirlGrace @kat i think crusader kings literally has both of those things, except that I’m playing it genderswapped so I’m martina luther and I’ve got husband die roll modifiers. At least until I finish capturing Rome so I can depose the pope and reform catholicism to let me marry women

@BestGirlGrace This is why I love board games tbh

Absolutely wack shit like this

This should absolutely not work at all but I bet you it's fun as hell

@witchfynder_finder Oh, absolutely.

I think it'd be a lot of fun to be the protestants and invite France into the other room to hatch a scheme, y'know?

@BestGirlGrace this feels like someone played Europa Universalis and was like "yknow, this isn't boring enough"

@BestGirlGrace he created calvinism, and was one of the heads of the protestant reformation.

i think he hates catholicism.

@magicalmilly well, calvinism was a bad idea, but at least he was right about the catholic church

@BestGirlGrace Alas, this era occurred a bit after the 'era of antipopes' otherwise I'd be requesting what the meta is for antipopes in this game.

@lyskar it'd be really funny if you could recreate the time like three guys declared themselves pope and all tried to excommunicate each other

@BestGirlGrace Yeah, you also would have the possibility for the antipopes to nominate antikings, which would make things even more bizarrely complicated.

@BestGirlGrace @lyskar I love the fact the term for that is antipope. It's so... Dramatic?

@BestGirlGrace that list has always confused me. I thought celibacy was a requirement for the Catholic priesthood; when did that start?

Note: the ancient Jewish priesthood was always hereditary

I could be wrong, but I believe celibacy became required for Catholic priests around 800. Before, it was recommended (by St. Paul, for instance) and common, but not mandatory. Catholic deacons have always been allowed to marry.


@mpjgregoire @WizardOfDocs Fortunately, the list is nicely broken up into "Popes who were married and had kids", "Popes who had children before they became priests", "Popes who had children after becoming priests", and "Popes who had sex while being pope", and they seem to sit on both sides of the 1139 "You have to be celibate now" date.

@BestGirlGrace played this one time in college. too young to drink. nightmarish.

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