i've never been to a theme park bigger than, like, going to Six Flags as a kid, so everything I learn about the Disney parks is fucking wild

remembering that Monster Factory bit where Griffin says "Now we're Californiaing, baby!"

it'd be fun to go to a theme park at some point, I haven't been to Six Flags or Lakeside since I was a wee Graceling

I don't even know if there's anything like this in the Seattle area

I did go to Water World a bunch as a kid, that ruled, I have fond memories of that

@BestGirlGrace why do we need to take it back

five flags

"less flags to get in the way of the fun"

@BestGirlGrace Dan Snyder, the man who loves to own football teams named racial slurs, bought six flags (I think right before they started metastasizing in states that never had two flags, let alone six) and killed the Mr. Six ads because he hated the guy. I still find that incredibly funny, that a billionaire would get mad about a commercial and force it to stop

@robotcarsley Much like how George Bush Sr. hated broccoli so much he banned it from the White House, this is the only funny thing the obscenely rich and powerful can do

@BestGirlGrace Six Flags declares independence, their flag is a flag with six flags on it, they are now called Seven Flags

@BestGirlGrace I don't know either song well enough to do it but I think you could adapt the Internationale and The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You into a single song

@BestGirlGrace seventh flag over Texas is an anarchist coffee shop name lol

@BestGirlGrace same! been to a holiday world and that's it and honestly it's like

i love hearing about this stuff and i WANT to go and enjoy a theme park but i don't get it at all. i don't get why a pre-recording of buzz lightyear while i'm on a tram is going to be like, a life memory

@BestGirlGrace Actually you know what? you're listening to the one about the hollywood stars and stuff, right?

it's like that, i swear. like i can tell it's lacking but it's like, i don't see what inherently separates that from what people are getting so excited about.

i need to see what this is all about

@BestGirlGrace grace let's go to the worst amusement park ever and learn the magic of amusement parks

@BestGirlGrace hell yeah

also okay if we're talking about this, i have to come out and say it

there's some like supervillain vibes to theme parks as a concept, i think it's giant machines and theatricality

@heatherhorns Yeah, it's a good gender. There's a reason the abandoned amusement park is a favorite among batman villains.

@BestGirlGrace that's pretty great

amusement park with a "sometimes the ground opens up and swallows people and the park gets more drone workers somehow" gimmick

or a "everyone power this machine by running on this treadmill" ride

@BestGirlGrace hypno park

it's just a 5x8 room, then you sit down, doors close, you come out and are convinced you had the time of your life but can't explain what happened

@heatherhorns @BestGirlGrace OK, *that* would have been Conneaut Lake Park in western Pennsylvania, except a scummy developer bought the place and is dismantling it.

Legit, though, one visit the kiddie carousel *was* powered by the ride operator holding one of the bars the kid wasn't on and walking around it. I witnessed this.

@Austin_Dern @BestGirlGrace really raising the question of 'can you just call a regular park a theme park if someone is hired to push the swings"

@heatherhorns @BestGirlGrace I've got to go, so I can't answer this now, but my wife and I have had discussions about this.

Also the distinction between theme parks and amusement parks.

Also about whether a tourist attraction like the Dutch Village in Holland, Michigan, technically counts as a theme park since it has got, like, two rides and slightly-educational performances and such. (Also a Ferris wheel, which is certainly a thing you expect in a theme park.)

@BestGirlGrace @heatherhorns OK, my recommendation is Lakeside Park in Denver. It's only 'worst' in that it's run-down. The little-old-lady owner insists the place must be affordable for families and that's admirable but does mean it's starved for, like, light bulb maintenance. But you can still see its late-30s Art Deco buildings and 50s Modernist neon signs and the place is so sweet and beautiful and good. *Such* a place of love.

@Austin_Dern @heatherhorns I haven't been there since I was a kid, and I fully expect it to be about the same as it was 15-20 years ago, give or take. It's really good to know that it's being taken care of.

@BestGirlGrace Oh gosh, yes. Visited in 2018 and I regret we didn't spend another day in town to spend another day there.

spiders (but fun) 

@fluffy @BestGirlGrace @heatherhorns OK, yes, I quite appreciate that. It took some pleasant surprising directions there.

@heatherhorns @BestGirlGrace I'm sure some of it is that the original Six Flags was the park I got to go to as a kid, but to me the point of an amusement park is rides, and everything else is filler. And the point of rides is to apply g force to your body in unusual ways, so a tram that goes through a bunch of animatronics does not count. Stage shows, shopping, wandering or animatronic mascots, all of that pales in comparison to rolly coasters

@heatherhorns @BestGirlGrace other parks I've been to:
Universal Hollywood. At that time I think there were only three rides: the backlot tram, Back to the Future, ET. The tram was neat because it showed off actual outdoor sets and the little pool that they used in the Ten Commandments and stuff. Back to the Future was a video and a vibrating chair and I didn't think that should count as a "ride." I think ET was the same but I didn't go because fuck ET.

@heatherhorns @BestGirlGrace Silver Dollar City in Branson, MO: one coaster, quite a good one, one little boat ride, boring. Tons and tons of shopping. Only things I liked were the coaster and that it was the first time I ever encountered novelty giant foam cowboy hats.

@BestGirlGrace tokyo disney sea kinda my fav just because how incredibly specific of a theme park. and also, how did more than one japanese disney park survive the bubble boom and bust... cheating...? mind control?

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