thinking about getting the loudest keyboard on the market. just the clickiest goddamn switches they have

· · Willed Into Being · 8 · 2 · 13

the neighbors will leave a note outside my door saying "damn, bitch. type quieter"


Add a speaker that makes an amplified click noise for each button press

@BestGirlGrace Use silent switches so that when tested unplugged it's silky smooth, but then when plugged in ***CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK***

@BestGirlGrace keyboard that has one of those rubber chickens that screams like a man under each key. A separate one for each key.

@BestGirlGrace -everyone- complains about the machine gun that is my IBM Model M.

@baronvonjace @BestGirlGrace I think that IBM keyboards (maybe the model M specifically?) are the loudest, but Razer switches are nice and clicky if you want something that isn't older than me and comes in a color other than Old Computer Equipment Beige

@baronvonjace @BestGirlGrace (and also razer switches are more of a KAKLIKKLIKKLIK than the IBM Model M's KACHUNG KACHUNG KACHUNG)

@heatherhorns okay, I would enjoy the hell out of this, though

that satisfying little ding

@BestGirlGrace @heatherhorns

Get one of those Selectrics that used to be a mainframe console. Add sufficient glue circuitry to make it output USB keystrokes while still typing (the mechanical snap-back is part of the feel, after all.)

Then replace the “gold ball” print head with a length of steel pipe and the roller with another length of steel pipe, ends open for better acoustics.

Use when livecoding Einstürzende Neubauten covers.

@BestGirlGrace @heatherhorns

I feel like there are lots of folks here who could hook you up.

(If I had one, $SPOUSE would probably be shipping it to you right now.)

@suetanvil @heatherhorns Ah, if only I had room in my house and anything to do with the thing. That's the real limiting factor.

@BestGirlGrace on the other hoof, it will make you easy for delivery drivers to find. just add a note to every order like "and you will know her by the sound of her clacking"

@BestGirlGrace rigging a big ass industrial power switch to trigger the mastodon posting button

@BestGirlGrace Oh, fuck. That's about the most Supervillainous thing I can imagine.

@BestGirlGrace every key is connected to a giant mad scientist lever

@BestGirlGrace give every key one of the little flip things and when you open it it sounds an alarm.

@Runner I just wanna feel like I'm launching some nuclear weapons or something

@Runner running all over the room, throwing switches, yelling at my assistants to do the same

it's a really good gender

@BestGirlGrace I was tired and meant to put in mechanical typewriter, but I did not.

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Don't let the name fool you. All the pornography here is legal, and much of it is hand-written. No fascists, no bigots.