agile software is when you do stand ups and the more stand ups you do, the more agile it is

agile software is when you assign a point value to all your user stories and make tasks for all of them and then you wind up doing whatever the PM says is urgent

agile software is when you do story points and velocity instead of hard time estimates, and then management won't leave you alone until you give an estimate anyways

agile software is when you move fast and break things, thus tricking whoever the DRI that week is into doing the actual work

I'd probably be less harsh on agile if I'd ever been on a team that lived up to the promises


maybe we should try extreme programming again. at least that had a funny name

· · Willed Into Being · 1 · 0 · 8

extreme programming is... I think when you do pair programming and/or you do programming on a skateboard

*are you a chicken or a pig voice* are you nacho cheese or cool ranch

@BestGirlGrace i think it's actually the same thing as agile and they just changed the name for some reason :blobcatthinking:

@00dani maybe it's because people kept thinking it was some kind of flavor-blasted snack food

@BestGirlGrace I thought it was when you wore your programmer socks and skirt into the office o:

@Draekos it would explain why it recommends pair programming. it's so you have someone to be gay with while you work.

@BestGirlGrace extreme agile programming is when you do parkour and rock climbing while coding

@BestGirlGrace I'm sorry. There was a thing called, and I quote, extreme programming?

.....Did it involve programming while jumping out of helicopters? Snowboards? Cus otherwise, I'm trying to figure out what the heck was extreme about it.

@Canageek yeah, it was more popular in the 90s and kinda morphed into what we now call scrum/agile. I guess the idea is that they're taking the good parts of software engineering "to the extreme", but I always imagine someone programming while doing some X-games shit on a skateboard.

@Canageek @BestGirlGrace Perhaps it's extreme ironing you're thinking of?

'According to the Extreme Ironing Bureau, extreme ironing is "the latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt.'

@porsupah @Canageek if anything, this is even harder than, say, lugging a laptop somewhere to get work done. way more impressive.

@BestGirlGrace @Canageek Mm, needs at least one 24" external monitor involved. Maybe a 4K demo needs to be written before they can depart.

@BestGirlGrace ... These being the names of two dev teams somewhere is completely believable. It probably happened because they had to pick names after working 20 hours straight, and those were the free snacks in the conference room.

@BestGirlGrace *screams incoherently at dog-scaring pitches over the indisputable truth of this thread*

Sign in to participate in the conversation
Princess Grace's Space Base Place

Don't let the name fool you. All the pornography here is legal, and much of it is hand-written. No fascists, no bigots.