Helvetica Scenario posting 

of course the Office of Consensus Maintenance has a union. It's a weird mix of people who think it's a secret society and people who think it's a regular old union, but neither of them are "wrong".

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Helvetica Scenario posting 

"have you paid your dues" can refer to any number of transactions, rites, or rituals

Helvetica Scenario posting 

"do you think this is a cult"
"if it is, it has great insurance"

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Helvetica Scenario posting 

"filing a grievance" has this weirdly mystical, threatening air around it

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Helvetica Scenario posting 

every year, a New Contract Is Bargained and materializes in appropriate places simultaneously in OCM offices and on the person of field personnel.

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Helvetica Scenario posting 

"What kind of materialization?"
"The kind where it's just there when you open up your briefcase, sit down at your desk, or, rarely, when you turn around."
"Class 'cheap to film'. Got it."

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Helvetica Scenario posting 

"Did you read the new contract? "We get Arbor Day off now, but they 'revoked the Rite of St. Grobboth?'"
"Doesn't mean anything to me. Wanna come to my Arbor Day BBQ?"

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Helvetica Scenario posting 

@BestGirlGrace "Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?"

>For full health and dental? I'll believe anything you tell me.

Helvetica Scenario posting 

@Rewhan the Spectral Entity Awareness training involves watching both Ghostbusters and the teacher pointing out what is and isn't realistic.

re: Helvetica Scenario posting 

@BestGirlGrace "cheap to film" is an excellent classification

re: Helvetica Scenario posting 

@sunsetmoth It shows up surprisingly often, tbh. A lot of folks with paranormal abilities fall in this category, too.

re: Helvetica Scenario posting 

@BestGirlGrace @sunsetmoth My ability is levitating objects that take on a dubious level of interaction with the surroundings.

re: Helvetica Scenario posting 

@vy @sunsetmoth "You can see the strings!"
"Yeah, that's part of it."

re: Helvetica Scenario posting, blood 

@BestGirlGrace the fact it requires a liter of bull blood to file is mostly unremarked

re: Helvetica Scenario posting, blood 

@violet everyone seems to instinctively know how to do it, and everyone seems to have a somewhat different idea of what it means, and they're all right.

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