word I just learned from a porn site 

masturbatrix

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@BestGirlGrace dick so totally nondescript i fell asleep looking at it. cum tastes like room temperature tap water coming out of this dick. the toyota camry of dicks over here

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@distressedegg @BestGirlGrace this dicks favorite meal is a slice of untoasted bread with water

dick so average it could be consisdered statistically irrelevant

dick so boring you the only targeted porn you can find is this post

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@fluxom_alt @BestGirlGrace did Brian Eno compose this dick, because i feel like it's just melting into the background

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@fluxom_alt @BestGirlGrace took me a whole five minutes before i even noticed it was out. had to cross my eyes to see it like a Magic Eye

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@distressedegg @fluxom_alt it's like one of those hidden object pictures, except I found the paintbrush and the wedding ring before I found this dick

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@BestGirlGrace @fluxom_alt ever heard of a "cognitohazard"? this dick is whatever the opposite of that is. it's so boring it fires zero stray synapses in the human brain. this dick is so inert that you could line a bunker with photos of it in the event of total psychic fallout

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@distressedegg @fluxom_alt this dick is so cognitively safe, the SCP foundation refuses to study it

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@BestGirlGrace @fluxom_alt dick so boring it's like smelling salts for kink. if you show it to a hopelessly horny brainjacked drone she immediately snaps out out of it and go back to being a junior real estate agent from Tacoma named Emily

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@distressedegg @fluxom_alt I'd say "safeword ass dick", but we know this thing's never been anywhere near a butt

· · Willed Into Being · 1 · 0 · 3

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@BestGirlGrace @distressedegg @fluxom_alt "My safepart is my penis, if you see it, that means stop, something's gone very wrong."

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@Colophonscrawl @distressedegg @fluxom_alt "trust me, you won't want to keep going anyways."

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@BestGirlGrace @distressedegg @fluxom_alt "Is that it? Oh... Don't worry, I uhh... I mean, no offense, but... Well... Oh, I think I'm getting a phone call. Oh shit, I have to take this, sorry, this could be a while but it was so nice meeting you!"

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Princess Grace's Space Base Place

Don't let the name fool you. All the pornography here is legal, and much of it is hand-written. No fascists, no bigots.