a friend posed the question "you can pick the powers from any video game character, you have them now. Then you get placed in a random fictional universe. what do you pick?", and I picked my xiv character both for the "not going to die if I wind up in Die Hard" and for the access to glamours and being girl
tired: what does your oc do in their free time?
wired: how would George Costanza break up with your oc
JERRY: Why do you let her treat you like that? Getting whapped in the face with that thing all day can't feel good.
GEORGE: Yeah, she pins me against the wall, and sometimes she does the thing with the crystal that I don't even remember, but that tail-
JERRY: Yeah, for once, the tail is chasin' you.
GEORGE: You ever find the sweet spot on your bed? The most comfortable spot in the world? You just wanna lay there forever?
GEORGE: The whole tail is like that! I can't even leave the couch when she's there.
JERRY: Something stinks in this relationship, and it ain't you!
Later, at Monk's:
GEORGE: Armadillo. Can you believe it, she called me an armadillo. Didn't even have to think about it.
ELAINE: I dunno, I think they're kinda cute. Plus, you got your armor for when you curl up into a little ball.
GEORGE: What little ba-
Grace shows up and scoots into the booth next to George. Her tail flops onto his face. He shudders and tries to ball up.
JERRY: So, what animal would you give me.
GRACE: A fursona is a personal thing. We can talk it over, but only you can make the choice for yourself.
GEORGE: Oh, so he gets the touchy feely speech? Why didn't I get that?
ELAINE: Have you seen you?
whoops, this got long, it's how george costanza would break up with every character of mine that came to mind
Virus Grace: "She's always poppin' out of these screens and the glowin' circuitry keeps me up at night!"
Half Adder: "I don't trust snakes. Never have. You know they smell with their tongues? Great hugs, though."
Bird Call: He really enjoys the free phone calls, but she does a tight half hour about him on her pirate radio station, and he can't get over the fact that she implied he's short.
Bug Report: He gets caught in the webs one time too many, ruining his suit before a big job interview.
Diamond Heist: Lawyered him so hard, it blew his hairpiece off at an inconvenient moment.
Dr. Scenario: Won't tell him about her work. He's never cared about a woman's job before, but now that he doesn't have it, he wants it.
Miss Trial: Doesn't take his side in an argument.
Solitaire: He tries to get her to holoproject some celebrity during sex. she catches on and starts complaining about how they're a piece of shit when the cameras aren't rolling.
Tennessee Ernie 'Bold: Loudly talked about unionizing his workplace, getting him fired. They do unionize, but want to keep George fired anyways.
The Lady: She keeps putting him into Stories and he's complaining about reruns. Alternatively, the kobolds are always underfoot and keep making a mess he has to clean up. He does miss sleeping on her chest, though.
This, of course, ignores the fact that basically none of them would date George in the first place, but that's not as fun to think about.
@Frinkeldoodle "Can't there just be one of you? You're at home, you're at the office, you're at the store, pick one!"
GEORGE: I'm gonna break up with Holly.
JERRY: What's wrong? She givin' you the cold shoulder?
G: Nah, the air conditioner is busted, so I love having her around, and I don't have to drive anywhere, it's just-
J: Not housebroken?
G: She says "pasta" wrong. She says it like "past-uh".
J: Oh, yeah, you can't keep living with that.
@BestGirlGrace can I just say, I hate every single one of these posts, not for the content but that they read EXACTLY DEAD ON like Seinfeld
@gattogateaux I can see it. He'd be really excited about the pouch and the jumping and start wearing a fanny pack.
I think he's postfurry at heart, but it'll take a while to realize it
@BestGirlGrace i order for her, she doesn't eat, i look like the asshole. i don't order for her, she doesn't order, i look like the asshole.
JERRY: Have you tried taking her literally anywhere else? A movie, a show, a walk in the park? Sounds like a cheap date to me.
GEORGE: I dunno, if I don't get something to eat halfway through a date, I get a little logy. I'm not my usual energetic self.
@lemoncarrots George is torn between the fact that she's a cheap date and the fact that dinner occupies both his mouth and hands for a significant portion of the date
Don't let the name fool you. All the pornography here is legal, and much of it is hand-written. No fascists, no bigots.